Dear Crazy Lady With the Stroller,

First I’d like to note that your stroller is very nice. It’s nicer than mine. I’m sure it fits all of your possessions you tote around with you in there very nicely. A clever hauling device if you ask me.

Secondly, I’d like to applaud your routine. I see that you have it figured out. You hit the trash can outside Panera right after the breakfast & lunch crowds assuring that there will be many hidden food treasures for you to scavenge from. Kudos for you to figuring that out. While it grosses me out slightly that you drink directly from the straw of dispensed cups, it also makes me sad to know that you have to live that way. It makes me thankful for what I have.

However, I do have one complaint. The fact that you retrieve cigarette butts from the trash cans, light them up, and puff away repulses me. I’m guessing you don’t live a very nutritious lifestyle (who am I kidding, it’s not as if I’m uber healthy either), but you should be taking care of yourself out there and not putting that into your body. You need all the help you can get.

Take care of yourself out there and I hope someday you find a big wad of cash in one of those bins.

The Observer